St. Joseph's In Motion

Mom and Dad are happily (maybe?) preparing for St. Joseph's dinner on Saturday evening. The pasta con sardi is being made....Dad is planning, counting possible guests. I tell you, the one thing I tend to forget in this whole journey is how very much they love each other. And from my point of view and experience, they have therefore, not had room for all of us on a regular or similar basis. (I guess I had noticed that before but it is so blatant now.) I think they are doing this dinner for each other...to have a connection and do a "job" together again.

They are "fighting" to maintain their connection and know they are losing the challange..at least in the psychological and awareness areas...in some ways, how could they manage or deal with anything else? This is all so deep and profound, you guys....in their eyes, they have only each other....and it's been that way forever. Enough...of my deep thoughts...and all of this prompted by pasta....(smile:-) )

will be back soon...love to all, Toni

Good morning everybody, I just wanted to say thanks for keeping the words coming. I check this blog thing often. It's always good to hear what's going on. I feel comforted that Mom's eye surgery went well and that Dad and she are back in house being with each other.

I'm also glad to hear about the work that Toni, Celeste and Steve are doing and how you are all struggling the good struggle to communicate with our predictably strong willed parents. I feel like I haven't added much action to my thoughts but for now I'm working hard on listening. And, I'm proud to be in family that cares for each other.

I hope you are all feeling well. Sue and I have been doing a nutritional detox and feeling some good changes. We even talk about staying with it a little longer. Dad asked: "why don't you just give up pretzles for lent?"

I think the six of us are still a challange to Mom and Dad's comfort zone when it comes to the control of their autonomy. I'm sure that Dad feels that we have a lot to learn about survival and rightfully so. He's done pretty damn good. I've thought about those 5 wishes, Toni, and all I keep coming up with is the one that you described so well: We want Mom and Dad to make the neccessary adjustments to their physical condition with any help we can give them and with lots of friendly conversation. I'm thinking it's happening that way......Bye for now, John

Nothing new from me

Talked with Mom and Dad briefly this morning. Dad was rather non-conversant...tried saying "good-bye" to me a couple of times...not sure what that was about. Perhaps they are glad to be alone..with no one asking them this or that..who knows. One minute they seem so very happy to have our presence and our help..then all of a sudden, they don't. The inventory workbook Dad so willingly took a week ago was still sitting in the kitchen..with the risk of being thrown out with other unwanted papers. The directions to the phone are missing, so I am glad I had practiced so much on the phone, so I knew how to delete all the latest callers. Anyway, I'll call them again in the day tomorrow.. Dad said "Mom is seeing a bit more." Mike, I experienced only a bit of what you did, of Dad's nervous navigating while I was driving to the Surgical Center. He really directed me very well initially..then became more anxious when he was unfamiliar with the lay of the land. I think I've said, it was an interesting time with them. Night for now. love, Toni