5 Wishes

Hi all. Hope everything is good. Today, we had some warmish weather...spring bulbs, gardening stuff is out in stores...yikes....Celeste will be here visiting next week...can't wait to see you Cis. I know Mom and Dad are looking forward to it...they went to Costco today and bought lots of food...!!! Mom said, "As long as we can do this....we are so happy to..." They seemed energized...I teasingly told Bob maybe we should tell them we are coming for dinner once a week...and that would keep them motivated...huh....would poop them out eventually...they are doing their thing...good for them!!

Anyway, wanted to ask a favor of you all. I already mentioned to Steve and Cis...

That each of us makes a 5 point wish list for Mom and Dad...what is it that we each would wish for them? Please put in the blog....try it anyway....if you have trouble, I'll coordinate any notes.

Maybe Cis and I and Steve if we get the opportunity to sit and talk with Mom and Dad...we could think in the terms of all our wishes for them. (Would't necessarily have to tell them about our lists...talk to them first, I think...)

Oh, I know what we want is not the important thing, but if we could have 5 wishes for them, what would they be? I think that would let each of us know what's going on in each other's minds. Of course, their safety is paramount for all of us, I'm sure. We all will continue to discuss with them options and alternatives to their safety and health issues. Knowing what all of us wish may help with any discussions we have with Mom and Dad.

My wishes would be:

1. Mom and Dad both begin to share more, with all of us, what they may want or need. And if they don't know..which Dad has said often, then I wish for them to seek a consultation with someone who is knowledgeable, objective, and experienced with helping elders maintain their independence and spiritual, mental, and physical health. I wish that Mom and Dad are able to maintain the safe and peaceful independence that they so seem to want and deserve.

2. Mom and Dad establish a support system close-by to assist them until one of us could get there to help them; also this support system could help with managing some day to day issues...i.e. Someone for Dad to talk with about whatever....Help with electronics for Dad if one of us unable to help him; help with or doing their finances; help with household maintenance; someone to make a regular visit to establish trust in outside services; provide rides or grocery shopping as necessary. I wish Mom and Dad seek out the assistance that will keep them independent as possible.

3. I wish Dad and Mom develop relationship with a driver for any "longer" trips and activities and that Dad begin to see his alternatives. Dad is beginning to say a bit about not making long drives, though has mentioned to me wanting me to help him drive to several distant places...so I don't know....

4. I wish Dad and Mom are able to inventory their belongings, decide how to best manage all their belongings, utilize a professional perhaps in any type of sale, and hand down their most precious items to their children. They make a list of all their special belongings, considering what they would like to have happen and also perhaps, providing each of a list of things they would like us to have....and we each could have the opportunity to make some choices.

5. I wish that Mom and Dad eventually agree, if they continue to want to stay in their home, that they have someone live in with them. (Not sure what I wish about the stairs yet!). we all invest in an elevator!!!!!????

That's it...speaks for itself..love to all and hope to hear your wishes....Toni

(Might I add that I've reread this a thousand times...hope my thoughts and feelings come through in an understandable manner. Let me know if you have any questions about what I've said, as I know the written word can be misunderstood...Thanks...love you..)