Dad brought up again the special moving services that Erikson's has. Mom is adament about not wanting to leave "her house." She stated very clearly that she will stay until one of them dies. She said, if "I die first, then Dad can go anywhere he wants." "And if Dad dies first, I won't have anything left here, so I'll go into one of those homes, or said she would move in with me or one of us at that point." I mean she didn't even want to hear any conversation about moving. And Dad became very anxious and forgetful of what he was trying to tell Bob and I. He said, with almost tears, "I can't even change a lightbulb here and that drives me crazy!" Mom does not hear any of that. I asked him if he could arrange the move for them, without her OK and he adamently said, "no way." "She would be a very sad lady." But then he added that "soon she won't even know enough to refuse." I tried talking with her after Dad left the room, but she continues removed from any intellectual or emotional responses of Dad. (or me for that matter). Bob asked her directly, in his rather straight forward manner why she wants to stay in her house. She said clearly, "Because I like it." So, I'm in my thinking mode again. Trying to see if maybe it would work to go over there, after making an appointment with Dana at Ashby Ponds, and having Dad just go with me there. If Mom doesn't want to go, then she could stay home. (I don't like the idea of leaving her, if she is upset though, so I don't know if that would work? )
Another topic Dad brought up is that Dr. Orsinger had a heart attack recently, and he now has someone going into his home daily and seems to like the group. Dad seemed very interested and intends to ask him who the group is.
So, that were "we are" this moment. And we discussed Mom's birthday. She is up for anything that would involve any of us. And "LasVegas Celeste" said she may be visiting in October, as I had told her we may do something for Mom's birthday. Mom seems proud that she will be 90...and didn't flinch when I told her we were trying to organize something. I told her it may be difficult for all of us to be there, and would any of this be too much for her. Of course, she could hardly out and out say no....or maybe she could have.....just want to let you all know I talked with them about it. Dad had no opinion. He just said, he wishes we could somehow have her agree to move by then!!
bye for now. John and Mike, your dialogue is in the last post with 6 comments if you want to continue or start another. love, Toni
