Dad's Birthday

Hi..all went well about today. Dad agreed with no hesitancy to have me come over.  He decided the menu.  I bought the cake, though unfortunately it wasn't that good.  I was trying for chocolate and small.  Wasn't much to choose from...anyway, lunch was great...roast beef sandwiches...home made beef they cooked last night.  

And we did lots of really good talking, attempting to problem-solve...Dad is moving along a bit, though slowly.  Ashby Ponds has an opportunity to assist with selling the client's home, assisting with down-sizing, issues about belongings, etc.  and moving in and out, if someone buys at Ashby Ponds.  Dad seemed quite interested and showed me the letter he had received.  Mom is very fearful of a move...not wanting to "live in a closet!"  I suggested they at least go to Ashby Ponds and speak with Dana (specialist) and see some condos.  Mom did agree quietly and privately to me...but who knows?  I told them I'd go with them if they wanted.  They had a visit from the neighbor, Stacy, who gave them some clever ideas about "passing on" their special belongings to family.  They seemed pleased that she had sat with them for "45 minutes" and told them "not to wait too long to decide" or they "would run out of time!"   (something like that Dad repeated back to me.)  

So, I'll make this short. it was a great visit. I think Dad was happy to celebrate, though he hates being older.  Mom picked out a card for him (I forgot to look for it, he had many cards on table).  They are going to Williamsburg on Thursday with Dr. Heaton.  Dad was able to plan the whole thing and ask for and utilize help.  They are both having their hair done tomorrow.  And, oh, how I hope it all works out.  They are both in a painful passage right now.  I tried to have them look at the options and what would be the least easy step to make.  They both seemed reluctant to want someone in their home with them.  So, I said, then you'll have to move out!   "It's going to be one or the other."  Pointed out the possible pros and cons...they were attentive and not argumentative.  They were both able to tell each other that they were worried about the other one.  (They talked about getting a "double Lazy Boy chair that you could put the arm rest in between, when you wanted your own space.)  Very telling comment.  They want their own space.  I tried to tell them that moving to Ashby Ponds would afford them that.  they could continue to cook, clean, fuss with each other, plant a garden maybe, or whatever...and not have to worry about someone else in their space.  i am uncertain if Mom will ever be able to comprehend that.  We shall see.  Don't lose hope or faith about them.  Progress is sometimes only measurable in very small increments.  And if something happens to them, they have chosen their own paths.  (And believe me, I hate saying that as I also want them to be able to live the rest of their lives with some peace and  love between them)  Night to all and I love you. And I will persist with encouraging them to talk with one another and with someone, either me or a pro.  Toni